When I look into the mirror: Retelling of my story

When I look into the mirror

I see my two eyes staring back

 my soul reflects the most

I look to see

what is in my soul


a person filled with pain

past mistakes

past troubles

create a strong sense of guilt

hidden somewhere though

 joy and peace

 from family and friends

More of this feeling there must be


I see memories from the past

dreams of becoming someone better

trying to get high while really stooping low

depression grasping at me


dreaming to be loved

 no real love is there

this should not be felt by anyone

 it still happens


somehow my love for others gets misinterpreted

it seems like hate but it’s protective love

real love can hurt

 feels like a grenade destroying my heart


 some say I’m gay

for never seriously being with a girl

need to find someone with the same commitment

 to mend my heart from being destroyed once more


honestly and justice are my middle name

some blame me when I’m too honest

society lets the murderers and rapists go

while they reveal their middle-finger at me


I try to find some peace

corrupt people surround me

“Go to Hell” they scream

death laughs and takes them to eternal damnation


How ironic that I should not be the one to die

playing hangman and hoping to hang

can’t die

my will is too strong to give up entirely


I look even deeper in my soul

 many tribulations and trials

 made me

an unstoppable force


 I look back

 I’m a fighter

The haters may come

 good always triumphs


look deep inside you

 see who you are

accept who you are

 live who you were made to be


 wasn’t enough though to stop the bleeding

I needed something or someone more

then I found Jesus

 cleaned my bloody face and also the hurt


he lived a life I couldn’t

 spread good everywhere

help the wounded

he died in my place


dream big

heed my warning

don’t fall victim to the world’s propaganda

it only leads to sadness and the feeling I had


take my story

use it as a key

look into your soul

see what is in there

“Even when my mind tells my legs to stop running, my legs don’t pay attention and manage to run like the wind. It’s that feeling of endurance that has always kept me alive and from pulling that trigger. ” – Steve (that would be me)

“Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”  ― Winston S. Churchill

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.” – Romans 5:3

“Despite our suffering and in the midst of our pain, there stands One who is acquainted with suffering, and He is willing to heal us. His name is Jesus Christ.” – Sho Baraka

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.” ― Seneca


Posted on January 6, 2015, in From the Heart and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. Wow. That’s some really deep stuff. Good job though, very inspirational.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. To Live With All My Might

    “Playing hangman and hoping to hang” – love that line.


  3. WOW. That is deep and I can somewhat relate to it.
    these lines – “look deep inside you
    see who you are
    accept who you are
    live who you were made to be”
    They are so true. (Y)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Good day,I like your blog,it’s nice,had wonderful pic,enjoy your day,thank you,to let me see your blog.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. It’s quite touching all this. If i may ask – why did you choose to write about this?


  1. Pingback: January Favorites of my blog and other things in life! | Your journey through my life and thoughts

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