Romancing with an INTJ:Part 1 (The Ring Shouldn’t Rule your Heart):Valentine’s Day Edition

Happy Day after Valentines to you all! I hope you all had an amazing…perhaps romantic evening with your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse. I don’t know, but maybe some guy proposed to you or you (a guy) proposed to a girl. All I can say is that it’s not very original and it doesn’t have that surprise feeling to it. No fun there!

Let me quickly get to my main topic of this post before I go on rambling about what days guys should propose to their girlfriends. Here’s the thing, The ring shouldn’t decide whether the girl says, “Yes” or “No.” You see a lot of girls showing off their ring that was used to propose like it’s something that they treasure. I get that getting something gorgeous and worth that much might mean a lot! I’m not saying that the guy should give her something bad for goodness sake! How much does a ring cost these days??? I don’t know but it doesn’t really matter! A couple thousand dollars is still not worth more than a good heart.

Guys always get nervous when they propose and start to doubt that they gave her “The right ring.” You wouldn’t have this feeling if you think the girl truly loves you! I think if a girl or guy truly loves someone, they will accept you no matter what! I can tell you one thing, I’m not going to be super nervous when I propose to someone because of how I set up my friendships and relationships. I set them up to have success. If you will, when we get to that point, we will be so madly in real love (not just because of sexual reasons) that we’ll practically act like we’re married…except we won’t be having sex. Then she’ll be like, “You think we should be married so we can have kids?” I’ll be like, “Might as well. Do I have to really get on my old knees and propose to you? You already know that I love you and my actions prove that.” Your actions not your words are the key to a successful relationship!

Probably won’t exactly go like that but you get my gist…I’m sure. The ring should only be a symbol of part of your love for the other person. It’s showing your commitment to each other. For example, after that young love runs out and you begin to fight and chase each other with knives, you’ll see each other’s rings and realize how much you were committed to each other at the beginning of your relationship. How lovely you say, eh? Of course, if you’re not really committed to each other…won’t be pretty!

Like the ring in Lord of The Rings, it took possession of the person because it was their only desire. If you desire only possessions, status, or looks that the other person has, then your marriage will fail later on. If it does rule your heart, it will corrupt you!

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Instead of loving the person, you’ll only love what the person has. You won’t be able to stop thinking about those possessions! This is another form of manipulation… using your possessions as a way to find someone or worse, only marrying a person because of who they are. No wonder why so many celebrities divorce their spouse!

You will spend most of your time with “The Ring” (A.K.A. possessions) that you won’t be paying attention to the person. I mean, poor guy right here. You will never be able to control your possessions for eternity!

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This could be part of the reason why so many marriages fails. Those things could easily be gone the next day. It’s sad that sometimes I’m the only one who truly knows what real love is made up of.   What is love according to a person with my personality you might ask? In fact, I would say that people with my personality take the meaning of “love” to a whole new dimension. Could be why it’s hard for us to find someone who we think actually loves us for who we are.

The definition of love according to me is when you “protect, inspire, encourage, care, and respect” someone. If you don’t have all of these characteristics, then you’re relationship or marriage needs a fixin’. If you don’t value any of those characteristics of love, you will never be able to friend or have any kind of relationship with an INTJ. It takes work to make any relationship work but it takes both sides to work with someone like me. It’s worth it for any relationship though. If you want people to later on ask, “How long have you been married?” You say, “50 years!” They are like “Wow. How were you able to be married for so long?” It’s quite simple –  They understand the meaning of true love. I have great respect for people like that. They’ve worked through their differences and truly embrace what real love is all about not just in the good times, but also the bad times.

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Love is a fantasy for many people only because they don’t understand it! I just gave the perfect characteristics as to what love is! It’s not like no one knows what love is all about. You know, I know a pretty handsome bachelor who’s funny, intelligent, musical, great at sports..oh, what am I doing? I’m falling in that trap. No, the best thing about me The Bachelor is that when I love someone, I “protect,  inspire, encourage, care, and respect” them.


 

*phone ringing from my girlfriend* “Umm, remember I’m your girlfriend. I am those things with you as well.” Well, folks! Looks like I’m taken by a person who truly loves me and I love her, so you’ll have to find some other guy!

Hopefully this post was lovely and mushy enough for you on the Day after Valentines!

Steve

 

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Posted on February 13, 2015, in From the Heart, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I started laughing after the first paragraph. “Way to go, being original with your proposing on Valentine’s.” I agree though. How do men muster up the courage to ask if they really don’t know the answer already? I didn’t want or need any big production. I knew he loved me. We were getting married. I knew he had the ring. “Gimme!” was all I had to say. He smiled and pulled it out of his bag. And that’s how two INTJs get engaged 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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