Apparently, Google thinks I’m lonely so I need to try Asian dating…Thanks or not!: Online Dating part 1
So it’s pretty confusing when you see ads come up on your computer on Youtube and other websites. Not pop-up ads…thank goodness not for those. Now I always get those Netflix or Hulu ads…you know because Google wants me to binge on tv shows and movies just to keep me on my computer and sit on my couch *Sigh* Sounds so pleasant right now! 🙂
So I did! I do watch a little bit of tv shows on my computer and all so I’m not out in the world a lot of the time. I must listen to Google because Google knows all – I mean it knows what I look at on my computer and everything I do…kind of creepy.
However, a new crisis has arisen and I feel like Google is sending me a new message. Now they are wanting me to try online dating with first sending me a message like this. An ad on Youtube like this – crazy, right? I’m bobbing my head around with my eyes closed and then open it up and on the side, there’s this:
Well… *gulp* Now that I am thinking about it. It is kind of boring watching tv shows on my computer without anyone around me. I have a firm belief that I will never do online dating but Google is saying it, so it must really know how I am feeling. I’m sure they can see my long sighs through my cam.
Perfect match seems pretty good…I mean since it shows a picture of someone so “beautiful” on the ad, I’m sure there’s plenty of people on this website that look so glamorous, right? Everyone who’s the best is probably already taken though!
I guess Google knew what I was thinking because it gave me another ad on the side of the next song that was playing on Youtube.
Yes, Google has spoken or whatever! I’m meant to date Asian girls. I have a couple of Asian friends but we don’t have a lot in common. They are good but this website hopefully will help me reach out to these amazing people, right? Although, now that I’m thinking about it…why Asian Google? My uncle had a must for his future wife to be Asian but he got a Scandinavian wife instead! I mean, you can’t always get what you want. Did you know that Asians are the only race to have true black hair?
What am I doing now? Ugh…I realize that Google is leading me astray. Clouded my judgement because I always do what Google suggests for me to do. I already have a girlfriend.
I can imagine that my girlfriend would be quite painfully hurt and jealous since we’ve been great friends and all but she wouldn’t be like this like so many other girls.
No, she would think that I turned into some weird monster that wants to take up some social experiment.
“Well, I like being weird,” I would say. She would say, “No, you like being unique. There’s a difference. The definition of unique is ‘being the only one of its kind; unlike anything else.” There are plenty of weird people in the world.”
“Well, I like a little bit of weirdness then!” Note: Actually I do like forensics so this would be quite exciting for me! Ugh…for many of you this might make me sound even weirder. Don’t you ever want to know how a person died? Nevermind, Nevermind…forget it! I’m a lost cause.
Main point: Google is trying to ruin my life when I have someone in my life that is my best friend and also keeps me in check of my “weirdness” as she would say. Google is not only interfering with my privacy online but also with my personal life. She’s my psychologist as well! I only have her for a couple more months before we go our separate ways so I hope her treatment will help me before I get to college and girls start getting interested in me. I don’t want to be like the fellow who was “most handsome guy ever” and then open my mouth and say something dumb like this fellow. The dumb boy.
Now that I’m thinking about it, she’s been my psychologist for around 2 years and I haven’t got better. Well, in any case… she might be a terrible psychologist but she is doing it for free. What can I expect?
Dating online Asian girls<dating the most beautiful, wonderful, and funniest young woman ever! I’ll take it!
Note: I really am not that weird. You guys know that, right?
Please don’t let my girlfriend see this post! Please don’t see this! She better not comment on this post!
This post isn’t necessarily supposed to be making fun of vegetarians because I think eating vegetables and all is great… *says under my breath* more meat for me then! However, I don’t think it’s healthy or good to eat just vegetables. There are better and tastier ways for getting your protein. Why treat your taste buds so badly?
The main point that I’m trying to make (using my humor) is that there is violence toward vegetables. Just think about it! Zucchini’s are squashed. Peas are split! We string celery off! We pop corn. Potatoes are mashed! The only vegetable that can protect itself are onions…because when you try to cut them, *swipes tear off face* you start to cry! If you didn’t get that humor, I don’t know about you!