Why are girls extremely attracted toward me: is it physical attraction, personality, humor, high morals, or something else?
You might say, “why does it really matter why girls like me? They like you so congratulations!” However, I’m not like it! I’m always suspicious of why people like me or if they are trying to manipulate me into something. You can easily show interest in someone and not like them. I always like to get to the root of why a person likes me.
I couldn’t agree with you more Ben Stiller. If you base your feelings on just their looks, that friendship or relationship will be incredibly shallow, which is not what I want. So girls have always told me that I’m extremely handsome especially if I am in a suit and tie. If you’re not into tall, dark hair, muscular kind of guys…you probably wouldn’t like me but most girls like that. Even college girls have tried to flirt with me!
So I get a lot of looks but I kind of ignore them. Most INTJ’s in high-school are not even into dating. It’s honestly a waste of time when you think about it. I don’t want to have a girlfriend but I’m okay having a girl who’s a friend. This is a filter of mine that has served me quite well. I’m perfectly fine with being great friends with a lot girls, which I actually have more friends who are girls than guys. Guys are so immature at this age! Now this filtering will not work in college of course but before dating someone, I will need to be first friends with them!
So this brings me back to the point, am I just a guy that’s going to be like their “trophy boyfriend.” If so, I’m out of it! If it’s pure friendship, then I’ve got no problem with that and I will hang out with you as much as possible. It’s always those crazy insane girls that have a crush on me. I learned the hard way of what the difference between those girls and the good girl friends who I am interested in.
A lot of girls also like my personality, which is where I get my unique sense of humor. It’s very unique compared to other guys who are just mere copies of each other. My slightly mysterious self is intriguing. Once I let someone in deeper into myself, this filters a few of them out – especially the girls that were just interested in my looks. However, more than not, girls especially love my personality the most! My confidence in my self is also a big attribute of myself that they like.
My high-morals and standards are also a thing that people have to deal with. If you have high-morals and standards, you will come to love and respect me more! If you don’t and just want to have sex with me, you’ll be dropped. This is another filtering mechanism – I am able to see what your intentions are. People always say for us INTJ’s (mostly) to lower our expectations and standards, but this helps me get a sense of who you are exactly. If you’re intimidated by this, then you probably aren’t a good person.
Basically, if you just like 1 part of me, you’ll be immediately removed. I analyze people to figure out why they like me! This is what I’ve used and I have been very successful. This is why I don’t have friend or relationship problems so I don’t have “heart breaking relationship” problems. My friends who are girls know exactly who I am and that probably makes them even more attracted to me.
So yeah, I’m kind proud of who I am you could say. I’m never act cocky around other guys but I do realize that I’m highly desirable because of my full self – my full package if you will. I’m very diverse and this gives me the controls when it comes to relationships and dating.
Other guys either hate me for who I am or they ask me for advice as to how I do it even if they are good-looking. It’s quite simple actually! Respect and be genuine is the most important! Humor always breaks the introvert girls to be more outgoing!
If you’re a female, look for a guy who’s respectful and genuine. Don’t deal with any guy who’s not that way! That will filter out the idiots/jerks to the genuine guys who will love you for who you are.
Happy Day after Valentines to you all! I hope you all had an amazing…perhaps romantic evening with your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse. I don’t know, but maybe some guy proposed to you or you (a guy) proposed to a girl. All I can say is that it’s not very original and it doesn’t have that surprise feeling to it. No fun there!
Let me quickly get to my main topic of this post before I go on rambling about what days guys should propose to their girlfriends. Here’s the thing, The ring shouldn’t decide whether the girl says, “Yes” or “No.” You see a lot of girls showing off their ring that was used to propose like it’s something that they treasure. I get that getting something gorgeous and worth that much might mean a lot! I’m not saying that the guy should give her something bad for goodness sake! How much does a ring cost these days??? I don’t know but it doesn’t really matter! A couple thousand dollars is still not worth more than a good heart.
Guys always get nervous when they propose and start to doubt that they gave her “The right ring.” You wouldn’t have this feeling if you think the girl truly loves you! I think if a girl or guy truly loves someone, they will accept you no matter what! I can tell you one thing, I’m not going to be super nervous when I propose to someone because of how I set up my friendships and relationships. I set them up to have success. If you will, when we get to that point, we will be so madly in real love (not just because of sexual reasons) that we’ll practically act like we’re married…except we won’t be having sex. Then she’ll be like, “You think we should be married so we can have kids?” I’ll be like, “Might as well. Do I have to really get on my old knees and propose to you? You already know that I love you and my actions prove that.” Your actions not your words are the key to a successful relationship!
Probably won’t exactly go like that but you get my gist…I’m sure. The ring should only be a symbol of part of your love for the other person. It’s showing your commitment to each other. For example, after that young love runs out and you begin to fight and chase each other with knives, you’ll see each other’s rings and realize how much you were committed to each other at the beginning of your relationship. How lovely you say, eh? Of course, if you’re not really committed to each other…won’t be pretty!
Like the ring in Lord of The Rings, it took possession of the person because it was their only desire. If you desire only possessions, status, or looks that the other person has, then your marriage will fail later on. If it does rule your heart, it will corrupt you!
Instead of loving the person, you’ll only love what the person has. You won’t be able to stop thinking about those possessions! This is another form of manipulation… using your possessions as a way to find someone or worse, only marrying a person because of who they are. No wonder why so many celebrities divorce their spouse!
You will spend most of your time with “The Ring” (A.K.A. possessions) that you won’t be paying attention to the person. I mean, poor guy right here. You will never be able to control your possessions for eternity!
This could be part of the reason why so many marriages fails. Those things could easily be gone the next day. It’s sad that sometimes I’m the only one who truly knows what real love is made up of. What is love according to a person with my personality you might ask? In fact, I would say that people with my personality take the meaning of “love” to a whole new dimension. Could be why it’s hard for us to find someone who we think actually loves us for who we are.
The definition of love according to me is when you “protect, inspire, encourage, care, and respect” someone. If you don’t have all of these characteristics, then you’re relationship or marriage needs a fixin’. If you don’t value any of those characteristics of love, you will never be able to friend or have any kind of relationship with an INTJ. It takes work to make any relationship work but it takes both sides to work with someone like me. It’s worth it for any relationship though. If you want people to later on ask, “How long have you been married?” You say, “50 years!” They are like “Wow. How were you able to be married for so long?” It’s quite simple – They understand the meaning of true love. I have great respect for people like that. They’ve worked through their differences and truly embrace what real love is all about not just in the good times, but also the bad times.
Love is a fantasy for many people only because they don’t understand it! I just gave the perfect characteristics as to what love is! It’s not like no one knows what love is all about. You know, I know a pretty handsome bachelor who’s funny, intelligent, musical, great at sports..oh, what am I doing? I’m falling in that trap. No, the best thing about me
The Bachelor is that when I love someone, I “protect, inspire, encourage, care, and respect” them.
*phone ringing from my girlfriend* “Umm, remember I’m your girlfriend. I am those things with you as well.” Well, folks! Looks like I’m taken by a person who truly loves me and I love her, so you’ll have to find some other guy!
Hopefully this post was lovely and mushy enough for you on the Day after Valentines!
So the other day I was visiting a college and competing in a scholarship competition (more on that later) but when there was a break at lunch time, I got to eat for FREE at the cafeteria and I heard some interesting conversations. I’m not the type who eaves-drops over other people’s conversations but when you’re so close and they are talking about something interesting, It would be weird to cover my ears.
So I guess there was this girl who was talking to her friends about some guy and I quote, “I just saw a like the most handsome guy ever. His smile is so oh, umm, like amazing! He looks so sweet! I was just about to make a move on him but guess what?” The other two girls shake their head. “He said something incredibly stupid. Ugh…I had high hopes for him but he failed me.” Lol! Hehehe!
I wonder if she had the guts to say this to his face??? I wonder if he would’ve said yes?
And honestly I’m like this! I mean really! He had an opportunity…why do some of the “best looking guys” have to be such idiots…waste of looks if you ask me!
I guess this is what college is really all about! Guys trying to look the best but most of them are really idiots! For girls if they are smart, it’s all about waiting for a guy to say something to see if he’s a moron! Should be a lot of fun in college!! Looking forward to all of the drama 24/7. I’ll use my psychology to help the college social scene improve! I’ve already got plenty of ideas and who knows, I can maybe manipulate people to vote me for Student Body President…JUST THINK Of THE POWER!!! Muahahaha!
Picture from emspeaks.wordpress.com (BTW) she’s a great writer! Love her writings about personalities)
For most INTJ’s, finding our “love” is a very calculated approach at the beginning, which is like how we (INTJ) approach everything. We think about something but when we start to love something or feel passionate about something, we would pretty much do anything to get that idea or do anything for that person… you could say that this is when we start to show our “human side.” However, there is a problem with this and I’ve seen it so many times. When we find this person, this person is so amazing and perfect that we start to doubt ourselves. Am I good enough for this perfect person? Yes, even a person with this personality can doubt themselves because we love that person so much that we realize we aren’t good enough for them. There’s someone else better for them. You would think that since we are desiring someone amazing because for most of the part, we are probably the most confidence personality, we would feel good enough for anybody. However, like everyone, no matter what the personality would be, we still doubt ourselves because we want the best for that person. In a sense, if you are a true INTJ, you want the best for other people (especially if you love and respect them). You desperately want other people to succeed in life.
Most INTJ’s won’t just drop it without telling their girlfriend or boyfriend why they are breaking up with them. They will tell you exactly how they feel. I was reading a forum on a personality discussion that all of these INTJ’s were talking to each other (Some of you might say this is weird but this is something that so many of us do) and there was this INFJ person who wrote about a letter that her boyfriend(INTJ) sent her and I thought this would be exactly the kind of letter that I would write. This explains an INTJ at their very roots.
“I can’t know if it is the right decision or the wrong decision. I just feel that with time it will eventually come to this same conclusion. For me, the decision is about whether or not it’s right to waste anymore of your time if I can’t see us together forever. The truth is I don’t know why my mind is clouded and why I can’t commit to the idea of the two of us happy forever. Maybe I’m just selfish even beyond my own control. I know that the part of our separation I dreaded the most was causing you pain.”
Do people with this personality have feelings? Absolutely!!!!